Since the Big Blow to my ego, (read: The Douche leaving me for The Strumpet for those of you who haven’t read the “My Story” page yet) I’ve been on a quest to find things that make me feel good about me. Confidence hasn’t been on the menu for some time so I decided it was time to re-order.
All women are affected by modern media – airbrushed photos of flawless models dictate society’s ideal, if impossible, beauty. Genetics have another tale to tell – I’ll never be a porcelain skinned, tall, willowy goddess. At best, my style will always be a rugged, nerdy, girl next door kind of thing. You’ve got to work with what you’ve been given.
And so I have. I retired my glasses and went back to wearing contacts for the first time in 5 years. I completed the C25K training program. Despite the fact that I won’t win any races, I can run 5K without falling over. Pleased with the accomplishment, (and the fact that I’ve dropped 30 pounds!) I’ve moved on to the 10K trainer. I’ve ditched all my unflattering clothes and sharpened my eyeliner pencil. Most days I’m still a wash-and-go kind of gal, but once in a while it’s an emotional boost to take an extra effort.
Of course, self-worth is not all about appearance. I’ve made some short- and long-term personal goals. I auditioned for and was accepted to sing with a local choir. I’m denying my natural tendency to retreat into introversion and socializing. At least enough that I’m avoiding the title of Crazy Cat Lady (despite my feline free household).
The other day, scrutinizing my reflection I had a thought. I certainly do not have shaggy eyebrows. In fact in their natural state they are reasonably pleasant, neither untidy nor unruly. However, I thought perhaps they could be a tiny bit shapelier. I envisioned two curvilinear brows, delicately arched, adding elegance and exquisite expression to my visage. Never mind that I’ve always been perfectly happy with my eyebrows, but if the tweezers just… plucked! Ow.
HOLY HEAVENS, OUCH! Really? Women do this to themselves on a regular basis? On purpose? Now before you label me a wimp, I can throw a 60 pound hay bale over my head. Repeatedly. I’ve been stepped on by a 1400 pound cow, and continued to do a full day’s work with a broken toe. I’m country-girl tough. But eyebrow plucking literally had tears running down my face.
Lesson learned. My apologies world, I will have natural eyebrows, thank you very much. I draw the line at yanking brow hairs out by the root in the name of beauty…