Fancy Words

Dearest readers, I apologize, to all three of you, for my lack of verbosity lately. While there are several moments I’d have loved to share, life seems to have gotten away from me. It’s the holidays. And I was travelling. And perhaps having a tiny bit of an existential crisis. If you are reading this, thanks for coming back…

Anyways. A little tale:

I had a blonde moment. Yesterday I renewed my auto insurance and when I printed my ID cards I realized that the Douche was still listed as an additional insured. I simply forgot that he was on there. So I went ahead and tried to remove him using the company’s “convenient online form.” Guess what? No go. They will not remove him from my policy without a copy of our divorce decree, as well as a signed statement from HIM stating that he should be removed.

Yeah. That’s going to happen. (In case you can’t see it in the font, that statement is dripping with sarcasm.)

So I called customer service. It went a little like this:

Him: I’m sorry ma’am. That’s our policy.
Me: Well your policy is egregiously unreasonable.
Him: I don’t know what that means. But no exceptions.

My friends, this is why I drink.


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