To be Present

*Oh look, a post from the Sporadic Blogger! I won’t apologize; it’s best to simply accept that I’m wildly inconsistent.

This past weekend I sang with my choral group. The music for this concert series was atypical for the group and caused some contention in the ranks. Not only was it challenging, but it uncomfortably stretched many individuals’ palates. Some of us were excited about the pieces from the onset; some grew to enjoy them through the rehearsal process; others merely appreciated a well-executed performance of music they will never warm to.

Sunday afternoon the director, in his pre-concert pep-talk, observed that regardless of how we personally identified with the music, the likelihood was that none of us would ever have the occasion to perform it again. He encouraged us to wallow (yes, wallow) in the moments, for they were fleeting.

It struck a chord (pun intended), reminding me that I spend far too much of my time looking ahead, instead of being truly present… wishing for the work day to be over, anticipating the weekend, waiting for next week, next month, the next thing

It’s particularly problematic for me as I’m in the process of staging a dramatic life insurrection. I’m cognizant that where I am, professionally and personally, is no longer right for me. I’m certainly not abjectly wretched, but I’m stagnated and discontented. It’s past time for change. While I have several stirring prospects on the horizon, I’ve made a pledge to myself to only seek out opportunities that excite me. Why move laterally?

Yet that means time and patience; I despise this feeling of limbo. Once I’ve made my mind up that change is necessary, I want it to be immediate. While that encourages me to be motivated, the eagerness oft makes me overlook today’s moments of perfection, peace, and beauty. There’s a lot of those moments to find…

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” Henry David Thoreau

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