I had the chance to visit with a friend I haven’t seen in a dog’s age over the weekend. She’s a lovely and smart woman, a creative artist and a loving mom. My heart breaks for her because she’s on the cusp of what could very well be a truly epic divorce.
I’m eternally grateful that The Douche and I didn’t have kids. There were no fragile psyches to traumatize with the hot mess that was our failed relationship. In addition, there’s no lingering need for us to remain connected. (Thankfully.) I know that my friend has a long, troublesome road in front of her because the tiny little human that she made with this man ties her to him forever.
Our stories and circumstances are different; everyone’s journey is theirs alone. However, the emotions my friend is experiencing are so hauntingly familiar. My heart once beat in the same rhythm and saying I empathize with what she is going through barely scratches the surface.
I was somewhat taken aback when she told me that I an inspiration to her. I’m no nonpareil, I’m just a girl who lived through something. Now I’m on the other side. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not minimizing the pain and difficulty, but I’m not unique.
Maybe because I don’t broadcast every emotion I feel, I come across as more stoic when the tempest blows. I don’t wear my scars on my sleeve and perhaps that makes me seem more put together. For the record, I’m not.
However, I did come to a life changing conclusion. Pain, heartbreak, fear, disappointment, failures, are all inevitable in life. Bemoaning them is a choice. Suffering is a choice. Stagnation is a choice. Why choose them?