Self Delusion

Oh the lies we tell ourselves.

It’s only a couple of days, of course I’ll remember where I parked the car.

For the record, I did find it, after wandering the airport parking garage for about a quarter of an hour. The sad thing is, I know better. I even thought – I better write this down – before convincing myself that it was completely unnecessary.

I’ll just watch one episode. 

Yeah. That has never happened. I’m more likely to surface three seasons later – only because the dog insists he needs to go out. This also goes for books – I’ll tell myself I’m just going to read until the end of the chapter and end up sucked into another hundred pages.

It’s ok that I’m eating pizza and drinking a whole bottle of wine tonight. Tomorrow I’m starting a serious diet/exercise plan.

No. I’m not. I’m walking the dog and skipping lunch. Not exactly the healthy lifestyle I used to justify binging.

In the grand scheme of things, these are not life altering self-deceptions, but little white lies that perhaps bolster the ego or help us absolve the guilt of a minor indulgence. However, it makes me wonder if this is a slippery slope. Are we building a fantasy of platitudes instead of accepting things as they are?

I find myself especially guilty of this when it comes to dealing with rejection.

He didn’t call because he’s busy at work.
He can’t handle a strong woman.
He’s intimidated by my independence/confidence/success.
It’s not me; it’s him.

The reality is, 99 times out of 100, we have no idea why someone spurns us. It’s far easier to tell yourself some sort of comforting lie, rather than simply accepting that he’s just not that into you.

I recently caught myself doing this when someone I had been chatting with inexplicably fell off the map. Ironically, I wasn’t even particularly interested in this guy. Most likely he realized, as I had, that we just weren’t a good match. Yet, I still fed myself the hokum lines to take the sting out of dismissal.

Whether it’s social or professional, rejection is a stinky part of life. It makes us feel poorly about ourselves. Flawed. Unworthy.

It is also inevitable. I’m trying to remind myself that rejection is the universe’s way of saying – this just isn’t right for you. Try again.

For those of you in the back who missed the most important 2 words of this post – try again.

 


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