Obnoxiously Enlightened

**Edit/Caveat: This is about healthy emotional range and how society expects us to express ourselves. This is NOT about depression; that’s something else completely. If you or someone you care about suffers from depression, please reach out & get help

Confession: Some days I’m ugly.

I want to wallow in doubt and self-depreciation. I want to call in “sick” to work and drink wine in my PJ’s before noon. I want to gripe and bellyache about the ridiculously inconsequential. I want to have a lawn so I can shout at kids to keep off the grass. I want to be judgmental, disapproving, self-righteous, and stubborn. I want to instigate petty arguments with strangers on the internet. I want to watch TV for 10 hours straight. And cheer for the villains.

I want to shout that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and that I didn’t sign up for all this madness. I want to immerse myself in a deliciously bad attitude.

I want to. But I don’t. I brush on mascara, paint on a smile, and pretend that I’m not waspish and surly inside. Society doesn’t want to hear it so I tell the Mother of all lies: I’m fine.

We’re repeatedly told to fake it ’till you make it. The odiously transcended advise us that happiness is a choice. Count your blessings and dance like nobody’s watching. Mindset is everything.

Shut up already.

Human beings are complex creatures with a broad emotional range. It’s dishonest to feign attitude that every single moment is saccharine sweet. I’m pretty sure that even the best of us get sucked into darkness from time to time.

Despite what those trite inspirational memes are telling us, there’s nothing wrong with experiencing negative emotions. It’s part of the human condition. Recognize it. Get to know it. Accept it. Let it teach you something. Just don’t unpack and live there.

Maybe I’m just not meant to be obnoxiously enlightened.


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