My college roommate, Ginger, is my go-to gal. (Ok, if you’ve been following along, your suspicion that her name isn’t really Ginger is valid. Just go with it.) When the s#*% hits the fan, her number is the first I dial, even if we haven’t talked in a while. When you make bad decisions, a really good friend holds your hair back when you throw up. It takes someone truly special to brush your teeth for you, so you don’t wake up with death-breath. That’s my Ginger.
Shortly after I announced that my marriage was a Hot Mess, I was contacted by a guy I had dated for about 5 minutes, 17 years ago. I had honestly nearly forgotten he existed; hearing from him was wildly unexpected and not particularly welcome. He gave me a colossal sob story about his life circumstances and then begged me to forgive him for treating me badly all those years ago. Considering the whole painful divorce experience that’s my current reality, my daily goal is minimizing any further potential for drama. Therefore, after some deliberation, I sent a polite note back saying there was nothing to forgive, water under the bridge, but I wasn’t interested in any further connection. I agonized over every word of my response, the Dowager Countess of Grantham couldn’t have expressed my position with more tact or poise while remaining firm and clear.
Dr. Jekyll-wannabe flipped out on me, said a number of rude and belligerent things. Honestly, he went from “I wallow in the pit I made for myself, please forgive me” to using the C-word in a heartbeat. (No, I’m not exaggerating; you can’t make this stuff up.) I retaliated with a swiftly executed delete-and-block maneuver.
When sharing the bizarre story with Ginger, she flippantly commented that it was my official welcome back to the dating pool.
Ack. Not that I’m interested in dipping my toes in the dating pool any time soon, but if that is what is lurking there, Spinsterhood is looking more and more attractive. I can always get a cat, or twelve.
I hope that this is only the 3 foot mark. Hence, No Diving in the Shallow End.